Way Too Old and Tired Greeting Card

At some point, cancelling plans stops feeling like a failure and starts feeling like winning.

You could go out. You could get dressed, leave the house, spend £14 on a drink and shout “WHAT?” at someone across a table for three hours. Or you could stay home, put comfortable trousers on and be absolutely delighted when you realise it's only 8.45pm.

“Sorry I can't come, I'm way too old and tired” is for anyone who remembers when going out at 10pm sounded completely reasonable and now considers anything beginning after 7.30 an administrative error.

The deeply unimpressed Victorian woman really completes it. She has seen your invitation. She will not be attending.

Send it to your permanently exhausted friend, your fellow cancelled-plans enthusiast or anyone whose ideal night out increasingly involves not going out at all.

Plans are lovely. Cancelled plans are sometimes lovelier.