Not to Brag, But What a Time to Be Childless Greeting Card

Nothing says congratulations on your beautiful new baby quite like reminding the parents what everyone without one is currently doing.

Sleeping, mainly.

Also leaving the house with nothing but a phone and some keys. Going for dinner at 8pm. Having a lie-in because they're tired rather than because somebody else has permitted it. Drinking a cup of coffee while it's still hot. All those tiny freedoms nobody properly appreciates until they're suddenly gone.

“Not to brag, but what a time to be childless” is therefore an exceptionally unhelpful but very funny way to welcome a new arrival.

Perfect for the new parents who don't require you to pretend that every second of having a newborn is magical. The baby is wonderful. Everyone is delighted they're here.

But the childless friend who slept for nine uninterrupted hours last night can absolutely keep that information to themselves.