You Old Greeting Card

Nothing says happy birthday quite like a tiny party-hat-wearing skull quietly reminding you where all this is heading.

No inspirational messages about ageing gracefully here. No “another trip around the sun”. No insistence that 50 is the new 30, because frankly nobody believes that and 30-year-olds certainly don't.

Just: YOU OLD.

It's wonderfully economical. Particularly good for the friend who has started making noises when they stand up, needs their glasses to read a menu or has recently become extremely interested in whether a restaurant will be too loud.

The little skull in its pom-pom party hat softens the blow slightly. Although perhaps not enough.

A birthday card for friends, siblings, partners and anyone else whose advancing years you feel entitled to mention.

Growing older is a privilege. Making fun of your friends for doing it is one of the perks.