Hang Out Till We Die Greeting Card

Commitment issues? Never heard of them.

This is friendship with absolutely no exit strategy. Not “we should get a drink sometime”. Not “let’s definitely catch up before Christmas”. We’re talking full lifetime contract. You’re coming to my birthday until one of us stops having them.

“Do you wanna hang out till we die?” is probably one of the nicer things you can say to another person, once you get past the slightly alarming wording. It works for best friends, partners, siblings, or that one person you met years ago and have somehow ended up doing your entire life alongside.

No grand declarations. No inspirational quote about friendship. Just a straightforward proposal to continue annoying each other indefinitely.

Romantic, really.